i hate distance and time zones and age differences and people who make me feel things
it’s dark. you hear a noise from somewhere in your house so you go to investigate. you cautiously open a closed door and turn on the light. inside, you see him. zac efron. he is putting plastic heads in every game box you own. “you gotta get your head in the game” he whispers, staring intently at your own head with a frightening look in his eyes.
i was sitting with my legs slightly apart at my grandma’s house then she got mad and said “if you kept sitting like that your vagina will get stuck like this”
then i crossed my legs and she was like “now your vagina looks like this”
thanks for the advice, grandma